Sunday Snippet: He Said It, I Didn’t by Martin Kennedy

Today’s Sunday Snippet is an extract from the smart-ass, possibly Agnostic book called He Said It, I Didn’t by Martin Kennedy.

 

About He Said It, I Didn’t by Martin Kennedy

He Said It, I Didn’t is a smart-ass, possibly Agnostic book currently available as an ebook, hardback and paperback book. It has 172 pages and was published on the 28th of March 2018 by Xlibris US.

Martin Kennedy took on the task of reading the entire Bible in preparation for a documentary he was planning to film. However, once he consumed the information with the left side of his brain (obsessive-compulsive logic and reason), it compelled him to write this book with the right side of his brain (smart-ass humour slathered in sarcasm). Above all else, he champions options and choices. Martin is certain that his book, about your book, will give you just that.

Extract from He Said It, I Didn’t – CHAPTER 2 – STORY TIME PGS 50-53

Job 2

1Again there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan came also among them to present himself before the LORD.

3And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil? and still he holdeth fast his integrity, although thou movedst me against him, to destroy him without cause.

4And Satan answered the LORD, and said, Skin for skin, yea, all that a man hath will he give for his life.”

“5But put forth thine hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse thee to thy face.

6And the LORD said unto Satan, Behold, he is in thine hand; but save his life.

7So went Satan forth from the presence of the LORD, and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his crown.

Just when you thought it couldn’t get better. This is what’s called upping the ante. This is like a sequel to a bad movie—Job: Wagers of the Lord Part II. This time, it’s personal. And it was a personal attack on good old Job. And now with all those boils, he is going to have to change his picture on Match.com. But there are two really important points I want you all to acknowledge here. The first one is this: “Although thou movedst me against him.” This is God talking to Satan. He just told Satan that Job was faithful even though you (Satan) “movedst me” against him. You can assign any number of possible meanings to movedst—moved, turned, pushed, shoved, urged, tricked—it doesn’t matter. “The key here is that Satan did it to God, and Satan can’t do that to God. Satan can’t do anything to the God I was raised with. So how can this be? Once again (and get used to seeing this), either God is a monster who abuses us for his entertainment or God doesn’t have the power and control over this world that we have assigned him.

The second important point I want you to acknowledge is this: “To destroy him without cause.” Whether in his control or not, God admits that he has destroyed this man’s life for no good reason whatsoever. Where’s the love? Where’s the protection? Where’s the comfort he is supposed to provide now? This is what he does to his best slave, his perfect slave. He tortures and plagues this poor bastard because … uh, because … oh yeah, for no reason whatsoever.

Is God really omnipotent, or is he just another version of Zeus, Odin, and Jupiter? Just made-up characters with an abundance of human flaws because they were made up by flawed humans. God willingly admits to being a jealous god, but he also has a bloodlust and a gambling problem as well, apparently. All I’m saying is, if you can’t believe that these are accurate accounts of the actions of your God, then perhaps they are not accurate accounts at all. The fact of the matter is, if you listed the actions I have here so far alone and attached them to a person, he would be in Guantanamo before you could make the sign of the cross. But he’s not a human, is he? He’s God, which, in my opinion, makes it worse.

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Has your interest been piqued? Well, now you know what book you have to buy next time you visit your favourite book retailer. Or for ease, you can buy a copy of He Said It, I Didn’t by Martin Kennedy on Amazon using any of the links below:

 

On the 18th of December 2018, Author Martin Kennedy stops by the virtual cafe that is The Segilola Salami Show and talks about his book He Said It, I Didn’t!