15 things motherhood has taught me #NoWomanLeftBehind

15 things motherhood has taught me

This is a post that I have been meaning to write for a while. I woke up at 6am today and decided to just get on with it. My personal experience of motherhood is not one I could have ever imagined. Anyhoos, here’s 15 things motherhood has taught me

1. When counting the number of weeks pregnant you are, it is based on the date of your last menstrual cycle and not when you ovulate/conceive.
   1. This could potentially be a problem if you have an idiot male as partner and you are ‘super fertile’
2. Not everyone has morning sickness, you can have a metallic taste in your mouth that makes you not want to eat.
3. Being pregnant is a perfectly good excuse to have scrambled eggs and toast at 1am every single day
4. Your body has a mind of its own and even if you decide you would like to run to a platform to catch your train than wait 30 minutes for the next one, your body WILL NOT COMPLY!
5. When your hip bone starts shifting around in ways that you never imagined was humanly possibly, physio isn’t much help either
6. When some babies decide they want to come into the world, they don’t waste time at all.
   1. Make sure you are not more than half an hour away from your preferred hospital
7. You get a greater understanding of high maternal mortality in the past when there was (and still is in some places) little to no access to good medical care.
   1. It is possible to bleed out completely (and die) in a matter of minutes
8. You appreciate the NHS for its free at point of need access
9. You do not feel this overwhelming joy/love when your new baby is put in your arms.
   1. It’s kinda like ‘oh ok, hello little human’
10. The process of bringing a little human into the world is like deconstructing and reconstructing your body
11. Having a child makes you appreciate the saying “it takes a community to raise a child”
12. You can understand why some people have postpartum depression as you find yourself feeling things you don’t think you should feel
    1. Some days you ask yourself why you ever bothered and whilst you may not (or least admit to yourself) regret this decision, you find yourself screaming in your head “I have given every single thing I have to you and given up a lot, so why do you freaking insist on crying for no reason“
13. That said, you cannot imagine a life without your little human. OK well, you can imagine it but it seems so meaningless.
    1. Having a child gives your life purpose, that there’s something more to your existence than just going to work and having a career
14. As someone who does not routinely like human beings anyway, some women give you a reason to dislike human beings even more. Some women would feel the need to ask you from day 1 when you are going back to work.
    1. It’s almost always the women (why are we our own worst enemies?)
    2. Until you work in an office somewhere, working from home in any capacity is not a valid job and you are a nuisance to civilised society.
    3. Even with their all knowing comments, these people would NEVER offer to pay the exorbitant costs of childcare in London for you to go back to work
    4. Yes, you realise that childcare is possibly one of the most expensive costs of raising a child in London and unless you have family that can help with childcare or money is not an issue for you, working from home may be the only choice you have and you just have to ignore the know it alls and their comments
15. Even if you could afford the childcare costs, you may decide to want to spend quality time with your child until such a time that she is ready to be independent of you and that is totally fine
    1. You will meet a very small amount of women and lots more men who are totally understanding of this
16. Should you decide to breastfeed past 12 months, prepare for the negative comments from most people.
    1. You may be lucky to have one or two people who are supportive and acknowledge that it is your body and you are free to do whatever you please with it
17. Apart from starting off life in a one bedroom flat and having no alternative, co-sleeping (irrespective of what anyone else has to say, or whatever statistics there are to the contrary) is possibly one of the best things you can do for yourself!
    1. Knowing that you are next to her, your child can sleep for 12 hours straight (excluding night time feeds when younger)
    2. You have this knowing smile in your head when you read lack of sleep comments on Facebook mommy groups and think to yourself you should co-sleep with your child then problem solved.
18. Love for your child may not be there from the very first instance you see her but it definitely does grow
    1. As your child grows and thrives, your heart swells with pride
19. Irrespective of religious beliefs every parent becomes a prayer warrior
    1. You give thanks for good health
    2. Especially in the first days of life, you hover over your child checking that she’s still breathing and when you eventually go to sleep, you pray that you all wake up the next day
    3. You pray for good health, you pray that you are the best parent to your child that you can be etc etc
20. It would take the people closest to you to remind you to look after yourself too, that your needs matter just as much if not more than that of your child
    1. As a mum, you would struggle to justify buying new clothes for yourself. You would rather wear your pre-pregnancy clothes from three years ago that are slightly too small on your reconstructed hips
21. Eating off the same plate helps your child learn to share and it is a very enjoyable way of eating
    1. It helps you and your child bond further
    2. Even when your child is older and asks to eat from her own minions plate, she would almost always come back to eat something off your own plate
22. When it is eventually time to send your child off to nursery, you secretly cherish the separation tears
    1. It makes you feel loved that your child doesn’t want to be apart from you
23. You feel like a rock star when your child finally settles into her new nursery routine
    1. Having a shower uninterrupted is possibly one of the best things that happened to you in recent times

OK that’s wayyyy more than 15 things but who’s counting eh? What are your thoughts about my 15 things motherhood has taught me? What else has motherhood taught you? Please leave a comment below.

In appreciation of those women who encouraged me on days when I was overwhelmed, I’m joining the #nowomanleftbehind campaign. I may not be able to provide financial support but I pledge to offer a listening ear and lots of (virtual) hugs to any woman who reaches out to me. This journey of life is hard enough and we all need someone who won’t put us down for the choices we make.

If you would like to join the campaign, feel free to copy the code below and post it on your blog if you have one. This way any woman in need that reads it would know that they can reach out to you even if you don’t know them.